'Jack The Giant Slayer' Can't Swashbuckle Its Way To Greatness

Ever get the feeling that you've seen this movie before? You know, the one with the guy who learns to be a hero, gets the hot princess who constantly needs to be rescued, defeats the bad guys, and wins everyone over? Yep, some stories never get old, but they certainly need some new flourishes to keep us entertained. For the most part, “Jack the Giant Slayer” doesn't come through.

Our story begins as we see two children, a farm boy named Jack and a princess named Isabelle being read the same story of how giants attacked the kingdom and were driven back with the aide of a magic crown. They both become fascinated, and both crave an adventure of their own.

Ten years later, Jack (Nicholas Hoult of “Warm Bodies”) heads to the market to sell a horse and cart and spots Isabelle (Eleanor Tomlinson) in the crowd. When some thugs harass her, he defends her, and is shocked to discover that the beautiful young woman who's caught his eye is the princess. When Isabelle is taken back to the castle and her father, she protests that she doesn't need to be as protected and sheltered, and she shouldn't have to marry Roderick (Stanley Tucci), a man twice her age that she doesn't love. Her father insists otherwise, and judging how the rest of the movie goes, he may have a point.

Meanwhile, Jack is similarly scolded by his uncle for losing the horse and cart and only receiving beans in exchange from a mysterious monk who claims that the beans have the power to change the world. Oh, and Jack should never, ever, get them wet. But after his uncle scolds Jack, one of the beans drops between the floorboards. And when Princess Isabelle sneaks out of the castle during a rainstorm and decides to take a short rest at Jack's cottage...well, the results could be called uplifting.

Because the beanstalk grows and leads to the legendary land populated by giants who have been eagerly awaiting their chance to attack the world of the humans below. The princess is immediately captured, Jack tags along for the ride and begins to slowly become the hero the land needs to not only defeat the giants, but an enemy closer to home who wants to harness the giants' power to become the most powerful man in the world.

Sound familiar? Yeah, to me too. But that doesn't mean that it can't be a nice little ride to warm you during these cold months. There's a few fun, even humorous moments, enjoyable action scenes, and a nice supporting cast that includes Ewan McGregor as the noble knight and Bill Nighy as the giants' leader.

However, what really drags the movie down is Princess Isabelle. “Jack” makes the mistake you see more and more often: a heroine who insists she doesn't need to be sheltered and protected, while her actions constantly beg to differ. And Isabelle is captured and/or gets into trouble time and time again and literally DOES NOTHING to help herself. She is pretty much the only woman you see in the movie, and she requires rescuing repeatedly. It wouldn't be so bad if there were more to her, but there simply is not. Sigh.

The summer can't come quick enough. Sure, the women may be mostly underwritten eye candy designed to lure drooling teenage boys into the theater, but at least they can take down a bad guy or two before giving it up to the hero at the end.

Grade: C+