How is Facebook Like a Wedding?

How is Facebook like a wedding? A story will explain: Tuesday morning, I shared on my Facebook “wall” a friend’s post reporting that Paul McCartney got married (again) last week, and is planning to convert to Judaism this coming year. As a rabbi and, more importantly, a life long Beatles fan, I was intrigued. Despite the story’s origin (The National Enquirer), the story was too good to pass up.

Here’s where things got interesting. Within a half hour, nine friends “liked” the post and even more posted these comments, in sequence:

• W”, a former congregant from Northern California, contributed a creative parody of the song “Imagine” (Thankfully, no one pointed out that the song was written by John Lennon).

• “R”, a UWM graduate student, responded, “ I like that, “W.” Reading the exchange, I thought, “nice! “R” and “W” are both terrific and they would never have met if not for my Facebook post.

• “E”, a student at Madison, wondered if the article was about the real Paul McCartney, or just “his secret look-alike.”

• The younger sister of my best friend from seventh grade asked, “does that mean Beatles are Kosher?” (according to Jewish law, most insects are not; certain locusts are).

• An auxiliary Fox Point Police officer (in uniform? Can’t tell on Facebook) asked if Paul’s wife became a vegetarian for him. 

• A former congregant, and terrific local guitarist, “J”, wondered: “does Sir Paul plan to sire a child?”

• A college classmate couldn’t pass up an egregious pun: “Paul did write the song ‘Hey Jew–‘d.’ A premonition?”

• One of my children’s former teachers, “T” wrote: “I don’t know you, Dan, but that was really good. Thanks for the laugh.”

• A fellow Milwaukee Rabbi, “J”, interjected, “What about Ringo?”

• Last in the conversation was a congregant, “S”, who wrote, “Oh, David! I am imagining Sir Paul trying to complete that multi-page packet of questions I did for you when I converted! Good luck, Sir Paul. You’re gonna’ need it!”

As the conversation drew to a close, I contributed an observation: “So this is one of the neat things about Facebook – Of the people who replied above, some are in Milwaukee, some in California, and two are in Massachusetts. One is a local rabbi, another a college student. “T” in Milwaukee appreciates “D”’s humor… It’s like a wedding, when people from all places and periods of your life converge and meet one another.”

Days later, the wedding analogy still seems right. Like a wedding, a Facebook thread brings together a group diverse in location, age, religion, and socio-economic status. The only thing they all have in common is… you. Like guests at a wedding, Facebookers are all “family”, and by virtue of a shared connection with you, immediately join in an extended conversation, creating, if only temporarily, a powerful sense of community. And like at a wedding, the community is short lived; sooner than later, people are off on their own separate ways.

I don’t think Facebook and the internet will ever substitute for face to face interaction, and conversations like the one I just described will never take the place of participating in a real community. Yet, on some days, like today, it can be enough.