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Health & Fitness

Reflection of the First Day of School for Mom

It is never gets easier to see your child leave for the first day of school.

It is with mixed feelings that I watched my daughter go off to school Thursday. One side of me was excited to see her back to an organized, routine schedule and the other wanted to hold her close and keep her with me.

This time, I was not enjoying the pit in my stomach which always seems to develop on the first day of school. As I watched her throw her pack back into the trunk, I flashed back to my oldest entering kindergarten for the first time. Vividly, the image of the his red Snoopy back pack and the sunlight shimmering off his blonde hair as he skipped off to join his friends on the playground came rushing back to me. Then I caught my breath as I recalled another first day of school for my oldest daughter. A gentleness washed over my face as I recalled my son taking his sisters hand in his. He leaned his head towards her and whispered something into her ear. She looked up at him with her sweet trusting face and off they went, the two of them, into school and I was left standing there, alone. It was that same bittersweet feeling 20 years ago.

Sometimes, I look at my life from the outside and I am amazed that I am a Mom to four wonderful souls and, even though I had no clue how to parent, we managed the course of their childhood. Not always with the greatest of dignity or wisdom but together. It strikes me that as I encouraged them to be strong, remember who they are, what they have been taught and how to make new friends, I was inadvertently following my own advice.

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So here is my youngest, only a few short years away from embarking independently on her own set of adventures. Gently, slowly pulling away from my motherly cocoon. Yes, it is very sad and as I type this, I have tears in my eyes. Yet, those tears are not just for my loss but for the pride and joy as I watch this amazing young person. It is for the anticipation and excitement of hearing about her first day. It is for this whole new world that she will experience and learn to live fully.Β 

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