2011 in Infamy: The Best of OMG PD

Sifting through piles of police reports — weighted down with law enforcement jargon and regaling tales of security checks and false alarms — can be tedious journalistic drudgery.

But from that grind occasionally emerge the stories that don’t merely inform, but entertain — after all, what’s more entertaining than reading about other people’s misfortune and incompetence?

It’s on that premise that OMG PD was built. Our regular Monday feature compiles the best of the worst from Patch community police reports. Now, to celebrate the close of 2011, we pare those down to the true keepers in the Best of OMG PD.

Suburbia’s Worst Criminals

Robbery is among the simplest of all crimes — I take something of yours and make it mine. But if only were that easy. One bank robber in Wauwatosa , while another — also in Tosa — accepted a .

But it’s not just bank robbers who need to think through their plans. A young Racine man who stole a game system was . Two thieves at Mayfair Mall , but blew the operation when the sight of a police officer — as yet unaware of their actions — sent them sprinting in opposite directions. And a man who used the routing and account number for the Milwaukee County Clerk of Courts.

Finally, there are those whose curiosity gets the best of them. Two of three men now accused of torching an abandoned Greenfield home , and in the process, of course, they made themselves more obvious to law enforcement.

Alcohol Impairs Judgment

Drunken driving is dangerous, though not remarkably so when you .

It’s more dangerous when you drive — and then trash — your .

Not all the drinkers create problems while their vehicles are in motion. Some just . Or . Or . Or .

And one gentleman was arrested for OWI not while driving, but after , who was in the throes of her own traffic stop for an OWI arrest.

Proud of My Body, If Not My Actions

A bout of nakedness adds color to even the most mundane police story. Consider how much more interesting it must be to investigate a , or , or a , or a , when at least one individual in question is au nautrel.

Other times, the clothesless state is simply complementary to other undesirable action, such as , or charging into your girlfriend’s apartment to be .

And then, there’s naked for naked’s sake — .